Please Please Please

Please do not bug me in the early morning. i hate ppl buggin me in the early morning. also i like to be quiet in the morning. i don't like to talk much in the morning until warm up. after getting sunshine on my skin. then you can bug me. that would be around 9.30? maybe. before that please do not bug me, i haven't wake up yet. I NEED MY MORNING QUIET.

besides that i realised wat people perceive me to be and wat i believe i potray to the world is totally different. people see me as well... i don't really want to say wat people really see me as but its not very nice. its crap wat people think of me. you have to set yourself on a higher pedestal and even that people ridicule you and not accept that this who you are. i don't want to be a bitch, i behave the way i behave so that i can bring a smile to ppl's face. brighten up their day with my antics but... lets just say thats not beggining to go very well...

it not good to be silly and perky all the time. ppl tend to blame you for things that are not even in your jobscope. i get blamed for almost everything.

• you lose your stationery. blame me i'm supposed to know where it is.
• misplaced your file? i'm supposed to know where it is even though i didn't see it in the first place
• how many cup noodles are there? not enuff? my fault again
• where's the aircon remote? my fault for not looking after it. even though its put in a place where i need eyes at the back of my head to see it.
• why not faxed? my fault again
• why not filed? oopps me again
• why ppl falling sick? my fault supposed to ensure that bunks are clean
• not enough copies. well it my job again. you see
• why is the room in a mess? ya i'm the cleaner wat. no need to clean up after yourself coz there's me
• bunk dusty and stuffy? no problem i'll sweep it and mop it coz everybody complains bout it but nobody gives a FUCK SHIT to do anything about it
• why not signed or issued? its my fault. i'm supposed to go chase them down and beg them to sign the book.

thsi is wat you get for caring. excuse me but my job is to take care of the company not LITREALLY TAKE CARE OF THE COMPANY.

also ppl have such great expectations of me. like i'm supposed to be this super medic that can handle everything and anything. i'm supposed to defend the weak and be perfect and have ippt gold and clear my soc in 5 mins flat. but i'm not that kind of person can't they see that? people makes mistakes, i'm not perfect.sometimes i wish i could break my legs or have some skin condition. then maybe i could have a better life. an easier life. but i don't think so. coz life is unfair everywhere.

did any of you watch Devil Wears Prada? See how that to be good at your job your personal life suffers? i don't want to be like that. i don't want to be a bitch and nasty bossing ppl around. granted that i am already bitchy but i'm not mean. i want be nice. seems that i have to be like that to get the job done basically.

i hate myself sometimes.

ok scrap that. most of the time.