Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Its Been Ages

So its been ages since i blogged and since i'm just sitting aroudn at home i tot why not pen my thought down.

so many things have happened when since i last blogged. first of all i completed all my studies and finally said goodbye to my second home, Brisbane. it was bittersweet. ok la. it was just bitter. coming back to Singapore didn't feel good. i left behind a good life. i really did. i was happy. with my life, myself and in general i was happy back in brisbane.

but coming back here. its all so depressing. as much as i love Singapore where my family and frens are, i feel that i dun belong. i'm not comfortable here. i'm happy but not truly happy and content. if u read all my blog posts from when i was in Sg. its all so gloomy and depressing. but when i was in Brissy all my blog post seem abit more cheery and happier.

i guess the hectic and busy conformist lifestyle of singapore is not for me. i've said it countless times that u cannot be an individual in singapore. those taht do are shoved into the counter culture of singapore always potrayed as rebelling against the status quo. i commend these ppl who dare be themselves.

the view up someones nose muahahaha...

i yearn to go back. to finish up my Masters and to be happy i guess. but there are ties that bind me here to this little island. i can't just leave. haiz. dilemma. so i have come up wit a 5 year plan!! yes a five year plan!

  • Work for a year and half or so in hopefully a museum. if not whatever i can find.
  • go back to Brissy hopefully in 2011 to complete my Masters
  • get a job in aussie in a museum or sumthing.
ok i realised that its only 3 points but its in the works... basically my main aim is to get back into uni in 2011. i feel that its abit wasted that i only did a Grad Cert. so masters it is!

i guess the only thing i can do now is to look forward and work on my goals. move forward kooky!! thats the only way u can go! i shall remember the fond memories i had of brisbane and hopefully that would give me the strength to carry on in this city i call home.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Hey Party People..

hey there, its been like what? almost a month since i last blogged. i dunno i seem to have lost the drive. its like the tide it comes and goes. so what has been going on my life since the last post? basically same ole same ole.

interesting fact taht all u see there are carrots, in various shades. originally carrots were white and purple and it was because of the House Of Orange-Nassau carrots became orange. just an interesting fact.

anyho back to me. hmm so far i've finished my studies and now just hanging around for the next couple of weeks before i go back to Singapore :(

i've started to like the love life here and the lifestyle and the freedom you enjoy. an one of the most important things i like about Brisbane (and maybe Australia in general) is the ability to express ur own individuality and just be urself. u could have tattoos and dreadlocks and still be working most jobs here. but not in singapore, where such forms of individual expression is frowned upon. even in dressing, people in singapore just wants to be like everyone else. which is fine but somehow gets abit boring. and i'm sure i've written about this soo many times but in Singapore people judge u more. people stare and makes comments about you secretly and sometimes not so secretly just coz u dare to be different, just coz u have a neck tattoo or just coz u dare to wear mismatched pair of socks. i'm sure it happens here in Brissy too but in Sg i feel it more. haiz. maybe its not such a good place to live after all.

but its where most of my frens are. and of course me family. i'll go back and see where the road leads me. well its back to the same feeling i had 1 and half years ago when i was leaving Sg to come here. the same sad bittersweet feling that i'm feeling now. i know i have to go but part of me doesn't. haiz. thats life i guess. every few years my life takes a complete new direction. it seems to be getting abit tiring. why can't i just stay and be comfortable and be happy for a long period of time? settle down? nice comfortable job that i like to do and that pays well. surrounded by people i love and whose company i enjoy. i'll be contented with that. but well... know how life is.. i'm sure that wouldn't happen or at least wun come so easily.

it will be a big step for me into the unknown. like stepping into the fog. oooh see how i made a pictoral reference!! *giggles* indeed i'll be finally be hopefully working. being an adult. voting. waking up at a set time in the morning everyday!! thats crazy. god, the very thought of joining the daily grid is frightening enough but i guess i need to grow up and be a responsible adult. i'll be honest. i'm scared. of not knowing what lies ahead especially at this point in my life. but hey gotta take the first step.

so far i'm optimistic. and so far things have been slowly falling into place. so yeah its looking good so far. hopefully the plans i have set out for myself will come to fruition. with a little help from me of course.

but for now i'm sayng my goodbyes to brisbane. a place and that i have come to love and where i have made some good frens. see ya in abit.