UnGlam Me

The Queerest of queers! The strangest of strange! The weirdest of weird!

that my frens is the tagline of my life. It sad that i just realise that i'm UnGlam and unhappening. I already exist in the outer circles of society. i see myself as a social misfit. Its a very loud fact that i'm different from normal ppl. I'm not a social butterfly, i don't flutter from one group to the next. i'm rather like a social beetle.

i don't club and to that extent i don't drink. Maybe once in a blue moon. and that has to be the bluest of moon. I don't like it. its hot and crowded and really noisy. if u want me to go clubbing u have to get me drunk first. thus me not clubbing makes me unhappening. apparently thats the place to be seen and to see. but u see i don't want to conform, i don't want to go clubbing juz coz thats wat ppl of my age do. i want to be an individual.

yes thats true. Individuality that mid nineties moevement that started with shows like Freaks and Geeks, Popular and such. apparently its has all gone down the drain. now its hard to be urself doing the things u wanna do. u are compelled by ur peers to conform to wat the status quo is doing. its sad really. by doing ur own thing u get kinda ostracised by ppl. Its like everybody wants to watch 300 but u wanna watch epic movie kinda thing. its hard to stand by urself and be an individual.

i knit. who the fuck knits? unless she an 70 yr old grandma.

i rather go into the forest and explore the plants and creatures. who the fuck does that. No 22 yr old does that. if they do they call it hiking. i don't hike. i stroll.

i rather sit at home and strum my sitar. first of all who plays the sitar? everybody is to busy channeling Kurt Cobain or some emo guitar thing person.

And the list goes on......

all this social exclusion on my part has made me into a bitter bitch. all i need now is a few cats and i bambbo pole to chase people who come and disturb me. i feel like crap. i can't be myself. i can't be who i want to be. i'm a closet individual. the things i do are just part of who i am. imagine if i really let all my inhibitions go? would that make me more fulfilled? would it make me more accepted (coz i don't really feel accepted right now)? by i can't do that. i have a certain responsibility to uphold and image to protect. i can't. you know i tot the teenage years were over but then now and again the "i feel like shit" feeling comes and smacks you in the back of the head.