So I'm Back.

so i'm back in Brissy. feels good to be back to familiar surroundings. but new people. oh don't get me started on the hot young things strutting thier stuff on campus. partly the reason i wanted to continue studying lol. but thats not the point.

the point is i'm back. and things seem the same but somehow not. somehow i feel that there has been a fair bit of gossip about me going on while i was away. interesting no? i can tell. lol. but anyways gossip is a part of life. but come on. make it less obvious next time? muahahahaha.

oh current update: i was deleted as a fren from someones facebook. not that i mind but interesting. i've nvr had that before. hhmmm....throws up so many reasons and speculations on why and how. which is interesting fodder for another post. damn. next post next post lol.

so back to the matters at hand. like today i had my first intensive day of Museum Context. and wow i'm amazed and the breadth and range of knowledge present in that room. like i felt abit stupid.

but i like it. it works my mind to the max. and thus i was very tired at the end of the day. although we only had 2 discussions the whole day lol. like seriously very tired. 4 more days to go.

yes i'm PSYCHED about skool. yes i am.

There is no fluke, There is no luck. Only Talent and Hard Work.

Alas it is time to leave.

the winds have changed direction. no more does it come from my bedroom window gently blowing at my curtains. alas it has changed direction. this signals one thing. it is time for me to leave yet again.

yes it is time for me to leave this cruel judgmental country where even the slightly longer hair is frowned upon. goodbye singapore, the land i love and hate all at once. by this time next week, i would be in brisbane. to a much simpler life, to a more accepting and open society.

how naive of me to think that things will change.

to think that having a worldy view is worth anything. sadly it does not. not much anyways. short hair and fitted berms are worth much more.

much has been revealed to me during my short stay here. truths about people. sad painful truths, as all truths often are. haiz.

so i guess it will do me well to go back to the sunshine state. back to a simple life. back to a pursuit of knowledge where ur mind is worth more than ur bulging biceps.

Violence

its amazes me with much amusement on how much anger courses thru my veins nowadays. usually i'm a very reserved person. well thing change don't they wit such interesting effects.

now i'm in the mood for beating sumthing up and i'm loving this song.

Advice from a fren: Just Don't Care la.....

i guess caring too much does bring one much grief....



.....That I dug my key into the side of his Pretty little souped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all four tires......

Again

i sit here on my bed in the middle of the night. when the world has wound down for the night and the only sounds i hear are the odd rumblings of a car as it whizzes down the street.

the wind blows softly into my room, gently swaying the windchime, creating a melodic tinkling so strangely contrasting against the din of the engines roaring by.

as always i sit in my bedroom alone. on my bed alone. by myself alone.

how i often wish this wasn't the case. wouldn't it be nice to have some one else? if not wit me in bed (think wat u will) at least to waste the night away in endless conversations into the early hours of the morning.

all these remain but wishful thinking, lonely whispers sent to the night, fading away into the darkness. who hears my silent pleas? only the moon and the stars.

i tire of this life. this life of being alone. but i foresee it will be going on for a very long time. it must take alot of strength to forge ones way in life all by oneself. truly it does.

but alas i am not that strong. hope is diminishing that maybe one day something magical will happen, some spark, some passion. but the reality is that it won't happen.

love in this day and age is but a myth. a relationship now is more of a game than the meeting of 2 souls. oh well call me a old fashioned romantic.

how long can i ramble on, fending off my own dark thoughts from engaging me in battle?

for tonight and every night. i am alone.

ARGH

this song is fucking catchy. i want nobody, nobody but chu!!!!



this one should have subtitles. so u know wat they are singing about.

Lets See

i realised the other day that alot of the things that i post in my blog are either sad or depressing or me being annoyed at sumthing or all at once.

this lead me to think that some readers out there ,especially those who never met me before, might think i'm a nut case. like a depressed nut case. but i'm not. i'm actually a well adjusted young man. hah i know some of u are snickering there behind ur screens lol. well just stay wit me here.

i know everyone feels sad and depressed but most people just don't bother blogging about it. most people blog about happy things, the clubs they go to, dinners they had, cam whoring sessions and blah blah. well i'm not most people. as u very well know by now.

but i realised that blogging about sad depressing things is not good for my image. and my dears, image is everything. so i have decided to blog more about happy things and how hip and kewl i am. if i can manage to be hip and kewl that is lol.

and i realised this post is quite redundant. i jsut blogged coz i got nothing to do. blah. no cannot! must have positive image! its not that i ahve nothing to do. i'm just resting from my hectic schedule. sounds better no? lol.

ok la lame.better stop.

I Blog. Thats Wat I Do....

ok so i am sitting here wit nothing to do. here's my story so far. spent the whole CNY holidays at home. yay for me. and also i was sick wit the flu. its gone now except for this cough. which i would expect not to go away anytime soon. haiz. thats life.

well going back Brissy soon ( in 3 weeks) and well i meet my uni frens more than the people i came back here to meet lol. its not suprising. too busy. blah blah.

anyways......

We tend to become like the worst in those we oppose

that came from the Bene Gesserit, in the Dune series... if any of you are geeky enuff to know the Dunes Series well then good for you! lol.

so basically it dawned on me that i am becoming the worst in those that i oppose. or rather i foresee it. i foresee that i'm going to be just like one of them. just one of them. is that bad?

something i sooo violently oppose.. and somehow i will become just one of them. weird eh? i'm still trying to get my mind around it. its just mind boggling.

Serious Thinking...again

apologies for the random and unstructured format of this post.. i was just writing from the top of my mind.

so when was the last time i actually posted sumthing? a week ago? maybe who cares. time is irrelevant to me anyways. after griping and groaning about ppl not free to meet up wit me. i went out for 3 days straight although. it was just for a few hours between lunch and dinner. most of the time i was a time filler for ppl between appointments. its ok can't complain rite.

first of all my thoughts for the first part of the week was centered around how shallow the world is. especially in singapore. like i was raised wit the thinking that inner beauty is more important that outer beauty. u know being kind and considerate and stuff like that. but apparently that all bullshit. how u look plays a more important role than how nice u are.

so forget about being kind and considerate, wise and helpful, insightful and a good listener. all this is just bullshit. if u look good people will like u anyways. so wat if u spit on the roadside. if u ahve rock hard abs, it doesn't matter. so wat if u make fun of the disabled people, if u have a gorgeous face it doesn't seem so mean to make fun of them. like seriously it has been proven that goodlooking people are get jobs easier and make more frens than normal or ugly ppl.

so like kids, don't make the same mistake i did thinking growing up that ur skills and ur winsome personality is gonna get u noticed coz its not. please be vain and shallow. excercise not to keep fit but just to get a nice body. so what if u can't run 2.4km in 9mins. as long as u have bulging biceps tahts all that matters. it will be better for u in the long run and u will be like by more ppl and happier.

sad but true my dear readers. thats my conclusion in the beginning of the week, thats my awful realisation of the social fabric of young singapore especially in my section of society. but then i had a great AHA! moment before i went out on fri.

i was talking to mom or rather mom was talking to me about getting a driving license. i told i dun want to drive. i don't really need to know how to drive. and she said that everybody is taking it. but i replied "why must i be like everybody else." and that stuck wit me for the whole day.

like really why msut i be like everybody else? according to Elizabeth Gilbert( author of Eat, Pray, Love), u are ur own best person. you are u. i am me. we shouldn't be like everybody else, we should be ourselves and sing our own song. but the shit fuck thing is rite... society wants us to conform. especially sg society. in australia, individuality is celebrated and at worst tolerated. but there is NVR a pressure to change and conform, never. but in sg its the feeling that u need to conform, that u need to have 6 pack abs and a tan. like how?

i was having a chat wit benjo a few weeks back. and he said "those that conform to how society wants them to look like are weak" or sumthing to that effect lol. (it was a few weeks ago lol) well yeah its kinda true no? but these ppl who changed and conformed seem happier. they get picked up at clubs and generally look happier. so how!!!???

i went clubbing last night, with the good feeling of being myself. but i ended up feeling worse after. dun get me wrong it was a fun night, i enjoyed myself. but i was bummed that nobody pick me up, nobody ask for my number etc etc.... basically i was just ignored. well just have to drown my sorrows aye. well being myself clearly didn't work. its ok i guess. i'm starting to be resigned at the fact taht i'm not a very attractive person. even to drunks. to drunks u know!! drunks!!!! that just shows how not attractive i am. haiz. its ok kooky its ok....

so then after i had another chat wit benjo. lol. i told him about how outer beauty is more important than inner beauty. but he begged to differ. he said that outer beauty is the inititial attraction and then u get to know that person. so i guess there needs to be a balance in looking good inside and out... but its hard to preserve ur individuality and not become just another gym toned person. i guess now my quest is to find that balance.

so should i change and join the ranks? or just be myself and be alone forever? haiz.... the quest goes on.

Haifa Wehbe

been trawling youtube and revisited one of my favourite arab singers. Haifa Wehbe. the lebanese sex kitten. stunning beauty but its fake lol. plastic surgery. but who cares she's nice to look at. lol.

my favourite song so far - Amar El Wadi (Moon Valley) loves it. its about a girl asking the moon to look for her lover. along those lines. lol.



next up is Fakerni (Thinking) its about a break up and how the guys wants her back but its not gonna happen lol.



last one is Naughty. its well about being naughty. oh yeah.






well its time to go. blog later. enjoy the songs ;)

Lemme tell u sumthing kids...

lemme tell u sumthing kids... about life...

yes i know i haven't been on this earth for very long but who cares. i feel old.

so basically. its to tell you young ones that when ur young u should hang out wit ur frens as often as u can. even to the point of getting sick of them. yes coz when u get older u won't have time for anything.

yes sadly as u get older ur responsibilities are more. u need to work more and get very tired after that. why need to work more? money la.

if ur married then ur obligated to work even harder coz u have a family to take care of.

if ur not married then u feel u need to get married and create lasting bonds so u spend more time wit ur bf/gf. everyone doesn't want to be alone.

and if ur not working but ur in uni. den u feel u need to work super hard to the point where u got no time for anything else except ur work. which is true. i've done that. but i'm a lazy student so i dun do that alot.

so somehow ur life falls into a routine and in that routine there is no space for ur frens. u can't meet up wit them as often as u want. thats if u want to meet them in the first place. coz most of the time ur tired or have to keep urself as the apple of someones eyes.

its all fine and dandy if everyone is in the same predicament. but when ur the one wit the free time its abit disheartening. it makes one feel abit neglected and not that important. yes i'm talking about me.

i can't hang out wit the ppl i want to hang out wit. but its ok. i understand they have other obligations. but just coz i understand their situation doesn't mean i cannot whine and complain. humpff!!

so in the end kids. heres some words of wisdom from me to you. hang out wit ur frens as much as u can when ur still young like in poly or secondary skool. after o levels? go hang out. u dun need that much money to hang out. u can work later. and even if u wanna work jsut work part time. when u have free time treasure it.

trust me. treasure it. coz its not gonna come anytime soon when ur a working/studying adult. yeap.