Lets See

i realised the other day that alot of the things that i post in my blog are either sad or depressing or me being annoyed at sumthing or all at once.

this lead me to think that some readers out there ,especially those who never met me before, might think i'm a nut case. like a depressed nut case. but i'm not. i'm actually a well adjusted young man. hah i know some of u are snickering there behind ur screens lol. well just stay wit me here.

i know everyone feels sad and depressed but most people just don't bother blogging about it. most people blog about happy things, the clubs they go to, dinners they had, cam whoring sessions and blah blah. well i'm not most people. as u very well know by now.

but i realised that blogging about sad depressing things is not good for my image. and my dears, image is everything. so i have decided to blog more about happy things and how hip and kewl i am. if i can manage to be hip and kewl that is lol.

and i realised this post is quite redundant. i jsut blogged coz i got nothing to do. blah. no cannot! must have positive image! its not that i ahve nothing to do. i'm just resting from my hectic schedule. sounds better no? lol.

ok la lame.better stop.

I Blog. Thats Wat I Do....

ok so i am sitting here wit nothing to do. here's my story so far. spent the whole CNY holidays at home. yay for me. and also i was sick wit the flu. its gone now except for this cough. which i would expect not to go away anytime soon. haiz. thats life.

well going back Brissy soon ( in 3 weeks) and well i meet my uni frens more than the people i came back here to meet lol. its not suprising. too busy. blah blah.

anyways......

We tend to become like the worst in those we oppose

that came from the Bene Gesserit, in the Dune series... if any of you are geeky enuff to know the Dunes Series well then good for you! lol.

so basically it dawned on me that i am becoming the worst in those that i oppose. or rather i foresee it. i foresee that i'm going to be just like one of them. just one of them. is that bad?

something i sooo violently oppose.. and somehow i will become just one of them. weird eh? i'm still trying to get my mind around it. its just mind boggling.

Serious Thinking...again

apologies for the random and unstructured format of this post.. i was just writing from the top of my mind.

so when was the last time i actually posted sumthing? a week ago? maybe who cares. time is irrelevant to me anyways. after griping and groaning about ppl not free to meet up wit me. i went out for 3 days straight although. it was just for a few hours between lunch and dinner. most of the time i was a time filler for ppl between appointments. its ok can't complain rite.

first of all my thoughts for the first part of the week was centered around how shallow the world is. especially in singapore. like i was raised wit the thinking that inner beauty is more important that outer beauty. u know being kind and considerate and stuff like that. but apparently that all bullshit. how u look plays a more important role than how nice u are.

so forget about being kind and considerate, wise and helpful, insightful and a good listener. all this is just bullshit. if u look good people will like u anyways. so wat if u spit on the roadside. if u ahve rock hard abs, it doesn't matter. so wat if u make fun of the disabled people, if u have a gorgeous face it doesn't seem so mean to make fun of them. like seriously it has been proven that goodlooking people are get jobs easier and make more frens than normal or ugly ppl.

so like kids, don't make the same mistake i did thinking growing up that ur skills and ur winsome personality is gonna get u noticed coz its not. please be vain and shallow. excercise not to keep fit but just to get a nice body. so what if u can't run 2.4km in 9mins. as long as u have bulging biceps tahts all that matters. it will be better for u in the long run and u will be like by more ppl and happier.

sad but true my dear readers. thats my conclusion in the beginning of the week, thats my awful realisation of the social fabric of young singapore especially in my section of society. but then i had a great AHA! moment before i went out on fri.

i was talking to mom or rather mom was talking to me about getting a driving license. i told i dun want to drive. i don't really need to know how to drive. and she said that everybody is taking it. but i replied "why must i be like everybody else." and that stuck wit me for the whole day.

like really why msut i be like everybody else? according to Elizabeth Gilbert( author of Eat, Pray, Love), u are ur own best person. you are u. i am me. we shouldn't be like everybody else, we should be ourselves and sing our own song. but the shit fuck thing is rite... society wants us to conform. especially sg society. in australia, individuality is celebrated and at worst tolerated. but there is NVR a pressure to change and conform, never. but in sg its the feeling that u need to conform, that u need to have 6 pack abs and a tan. like how?

i was having a chat wit benjo a few weeks back. and he said "those that conform to how society wants them to look like are weak" or sumthing to that effect lol. (it was a few weeks ago lol) well yeah its kinda true no? but these ppl who changed and conformed seem happier. they get picked up at clubs and generally look happier. so how!!!???

i went clubbing last night, with the good feeling of being myself. but i ended up feeling worse after. dun get me wrong it was a fun night, i enjoyed myself. but i was bummed that nobody pick me up, nobody ask for my number etc etc.... basically i was just ignored. well just have to drown my sorrows aye. well being myself clearly didn't work. its ok i guess. i'm starting to be resigned at the fact taht i'm not a very attractive person. even to drunks. to drunks u know!! drunks!!!! that just shows how not attractive i am. haiz. its ok kooky its ok....

so then after i had another chat wit benjo. lol. i told him about how outer beauty is more important than inner beauty. but he begged to differ. he said that outer beauty is the inititial attraction and then u get to know that person. so i guess there needs to be a balance in looking good inside and out... but its hard to preserve ur individuality and not become just another gym toned person. i guess now my quest is to find that balance.

so should i change and join the ranks? or just be myself and be alone forever? haiz.... the quest goes on.

Haifa Wehbe

been trawling youtube and revisited one of my favourite arab singers. Haifa Wehbe. the lebanese sex kitten. stunning beauty but its fake lol. plastic surgery. but who cares she's nice to look at. lol.

my favourite song so far - Amar El Wadi (Moon Valley) loves it. its about a girl asking the moon to look for her lover. along those lines. lol.



next up is Fakerni (Thinking) its about a break up and how the guys wants her back but its not gonna happen lol.



last one is Naughty. its well about being naughty. oh yeah.






well its time to go. blog later. enjoy the songs ;)

Lemme tell u sumthing kids...

lemme tell u sumthing kids... about life...

yes i know i haven't been on this earth for very long but who cares. i feel old.

so basically. its to tell you young ones that when ur young u should hang out wit ur frens as often as u can. even to the point of getting sick of them. yes coz when u get older u won't have time for anything.

yes sadly as u get older ur responsibilities are more. u need to work more and get very tired after that. why need to work more? money la.

if ur married then ur obligated to work even harder coz u have a family to take care of.

if ur not married then u feel u need to get married and create lasting bonds so u spend more time wit ur bf/gf. everyone doesn't want to be alone.

and if ur not working but ur in uni. den u feel u need to work super hard to the point where u got no time for anything else except ur work. which is true. i've done that. but i'm a lazy student so i dun do that alot.

so somehow ur life falls into a routine and in that routine there is no space for ur frens. u can't meet up wit them as often as u want. thats if u want to meet them in the first place. coz most of the time ur tired or have to keep urself as the apple of someones eyes.

its all fine and dandy if everyone is in the same predicament. but when ur the one wit the free time its abit disheartening. it makes one feel abit neglected and not that important. yes i'm talking about me.

i can't hang out wit the ppl i want to hang out wit. but its ok. i understand they have other obligations. but just coz i understand their situation doesn't mean i cannot whine and complain. humpff!!

so in the end kids. heres some words of wisdom from me to you. hang out wit ur frens as much as u can when ur still young like in poly or secondary skool. after o levels? go hang out. u dun need that much money to hang out. u can work later. and even if u wanna work jsut work part time. when u have free time treasure it.

trust me. treasure it. coz its not gonna come anytime soon when ur a working/studying adult. yeap.

Bored As.......

ok i'm jsut typing this out coz i'm bored as....

been nursing a bad tummy for the past few days. but heck i had a night out and i didn't shit woohoo!! but yeah its crampy and farty and overall uncomfortable... gonna see a doctor tomorrow.. maybe its my Irritable Bowel Syndrome kicking up again. coz its not diahorrea tahts for sure... my shit is still solid! its just really slimy... lol...

besides that i feel great. although abit lonely... lol.. everybody is havign skool or working .. yeah yeah i know its an endless issue wit me... but hey... its jsut to fill up space. oh well.

oh on other fronts... it seems that the more i wash the more pimples i get lol... its weird aye? i still wash my face la wit water but like i use less of the facial wash the less pimples i get. well if it works it works. i'm not complaining.

hmmm... ok

dunno wat else to type. just staring at the screen. slowly rotting. thankfully not getting fat. urgh.

Change

"...All things change Sister. Its sad but Heaven, Hell and the World move on... Its Fate..."

thats from the miniseries Merlin. in which Queen Mab and the Lady of The Lake talk about accepting change or fighting it. nice miniseries u should watch it.

anyho. i tot it was a good intro to the topic at hand which i have been thinking about for the past day or so. which is change.

i had an AHA!! moment watching Oprah (yes Oprah rocks!!). that show was about sipirtuality and they were talking thigns and life changes all the time and the more we resist the change the more unhappy we are. just go wit the flow they say. and live in the now. which i think is so true.

change is the only constant....

which is true. we grow old. we evolve in our personalities and the way we dress and the way we look. everybody changes. everything changes. and i was well aware of that when i came back from aussie.

i knew things would be different and people would be different. but i guess the one thing that i didn't really think about is accepting that change. my frens have changed even though they refused to acknowledge it lol. and i am trying to accept the new them. and i for sure have changed. and i guess they need to slowly to get used to the new me. ok i'm starting to ramble on.

but anyway change is good. only from change can new things come. maybe i should change. lol. but u can't force it. it just comes lol.

toodles.

New Years Resolution 2009

well 2008 has come and gone....
lets welcome the new year with hope that it will be not so bad.

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR 2009

i didn't do a retrospect of 2008 this year coz well i didn't feel like it...lol.

and i did accomplish some of my resolutions for 2008 except 2. thats good aye? 2 out of 4 is not too bad. some people never even do any of their resolutions.

so my 2009 resolutions for this year will not be in words or specific bullet point forms... its more of a general feeling... a new outlook on life... and there will be a phrase a key word to my 2009 resolutions... the keyword is REVENGE. oh wat a nice word for a new years resolutions. hope i fulfil it.

so i shall post a song. Cuz I Can by P!NK.. i think it best describes my outlook for 2009. enjoy.




So I'll cash my checks and place my bets
And hope I'll always win
Even if I don't I'm fucked because
I live a life of sin
But it's alright
I don't give a damn
I don't play your rules I make my own
Tonight
I'll do what I want
Cuz I can

You know I'm rare
You stop and stare
You think I care
I don't
You talk real loud
But you aint saying nothing cool
I could fit your whole house in my swimming pool