Because Of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you

I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid
Because of you
Because of you

How i Wish

we all wish at one time or another... we wished that the bus would come earlier or that nasty bug would stop buzzing around you... we all wish for many things.. but there is one wish that we all wish for.. that is to have the perfect life...

that is the universal wish of all the people in the known worlds... but the reality is that life will never ever be perfect.. there will always be bumps and humps along the way... expectations that can never be meet...

but hey we can only wish and hope for the best right?

First Post of The New Year

Urrrgghhh... another new year. the hype is gone and now we have to trudge along all the way to another year.. wat a daunting task it will be... but hey i will survive, hey! hey! (cue Gloria Gaynor)

so i was planning list down my new years resolution but then again... iwill never keep to them so why would i put it down? goodness..... there is one resolution that i must try to keep (cue Ms Gaynor again).. that is to survive 2006.. i am foreseeing that it will be a terrible year ahead with all the nasty players in my life and all the obstacles that stand before me... ok its getting quite dramatic isn't it... k lets tone it down...

neways, u noe i have been blogging for like almost 2 1/2 years... it so weird and entertaining to read ur thoughts at that particular moment in time.. its so strange to read wat i have written and to think i have actually written such things... i those 2 previous sentence i wrote the exact same thing but in different words... sometimes i even amaze myself... haha... but ok, its so weird to read thru some of my post... i was angry crazy, gloomy and happy... its like i'm so happy to ahv a blog to keep a record of my thought and all of u read it.. ok maybe not so much the latter but hey i'm happy to share my thought with all of you.... so happy reading my blog and hope i survive this new year ( hey hey)....

Auld Lang Syne......

wat the heck does Auld Lang Syne really mean? issit some old german language coz it really sounds strange to say the least... oh well its the lsat post for 2005! good bye 2005.. it was a fun year we shared... so many changes and yet so little... the good and the bad... the funny and the sad... i will miss you dearly 2005... so goodbye 2005 it was good while it lasted.. i leave you with a heavy heart k... toodles....

LETS WELCOME 2006!

HAPPIE NEU YEAR!

WAHAHAHA

LETS HOPE IT WOULD BE BETTER....

It Has Come and Soon it will Be Gone....

i get all emotional and depressed this time of year (i get emotional all year, but hey especially this time of year)... thats coz wen i look back at all the times i had and all the memories made this year i get all emo.. you noe so many things have changed this year.. wtih me graduating frm poly, ending one chapter of my life, and starting National Service( ahem!) thus beginning another chapter.... from losing alot of weight and thus rasing my self esteem alot more... to alot more experiences that have shaped my life and changed me in more ways than one...

but the year has come and gone and there are still so many things that are unresolved, most of them deeply personal... so many things i have yet to fulfil and experience... i feel that my life is still very empty... for those who can read between that lines, you could have already guessed wat i am talking about. for the rest of u slower ppl.. hee hee.. go figure...

oh well... soon it will be time for me to me to create new year resolutions that i will never fulfil and be gloomy and all the next year...


MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!

It Sucks.....

it sucks to go back to camp todae after like a 1 week break... really it sucks... but hey i just have to wait for about 2 plus days then i'm out again... wahhaa... den comes christmas hols! and new year! haha! but in between there is a field camp... which sucks beeg time... oh well... t minus 45 mins to go back to camp.... toodles darlings see ya soon.....

It Sucks.....

it sucks to go back to camp todae after like a 1 week break... really it sucks... but hey i just have to wait for about 2 plus days then i'm out again... wahhaa... den comes christmas hols! and new year! haha! but in between there is a field camp... which sucks beeg time... oh well... t minus 45 mins to go back to camp.... toodles darlings see ya soon.....

Feelin Kinda Krummy.......

Woke up this morning with a headache, a runny nose and an ulcer at the back of my throat.. and maybe possibly inflammed tonsils.... gahhhh.....

so that impedes my plans for today.. which was to clean and reorganize my closet... which now has taken a back seat to greater tasks at han which is blogging as you are reading it right now... i dunno, everytime i look at my wardrobe or closet or wateva you might call it.. it just screams to be cleaned out.. but i did clean it out.. just before raya.. but it is still screaming.. i dunno maybe its coz i don't really see that often... i live more at camp than i do at home... sigh.. should i or shouldn't i? only time will tell.....

I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!

Sugarbabes
Ugly

When I was 7

They said I was strange

I noticed that my eyes and hair weren't the same

I asked my parents if I was OK

They said you're more beautiful

And that's the way they show they wish

They had your smile

So my confidence was up for a while I got real comfortable with my own style

I knew that they were only jealous cos

People are all the same

And we only get judged by what we do

My personality reflects me

And if I'm ugly then

So are you

So are you

There was a time when I felt like I cared

That I was shorter than everyone there

People made me feel like life was unfair

And I did things that made me ashamed

Cos I didn't know my body would change I grew taller than them in more ways

But there will always be the one who will say

Something bad to make them feel great

People are all the same

And we only get judged by what we do

My personality reflects me

And if I'm ugly then

So are you

So are you

People are all the same

And we only get judged by what we do

My personality reflects me

And if I'm ugly then

So are you

So are you

Everybody talks bad about somebody

And never realises how it affects somebody

And you bet it won't be forgotten

Envy is the only thing it could be

Cos people are all the same (The same, the same)

And we only get judged by what we do (What we do, yeah, yeah)

My personality reflects me

And if I'm ugly then (Yeah, you)

So are you

So are you

People are all the same (Oh, oh, oh)

And we only get judged by what we do (What we do, yeah)

My personality reflects me

And if I'm ugly then (Yeah, so are you)

So are you

So are you

I'm Back Darlings....

on leave now... thank god! i need the fucking rest coz i just did the graduation march for BMT... no did not go for recourse.. i just went with the Mono intake guys providing them with med cover.. wahhaa.... now i have abrasions and aches and pains in part where the sun don't shine....

now resting at home which i miss dearly.. and i shall blog like i never blog before these dew days!! wahahaha..... ok now to blog proper...

ok yesterday someone said i looked young... which i took as a compliment.. seriously.. ppl keep saying look 25 or something but hey 1 person said i don't look like i was born in 85... yay! which brings me to another point.. i realised most ppl treat me as though i'm a kid.. for example they always make sure to remind me bout this and that and are concerned if i make my home safely and things like that... they think i'm an innocent little boy... which is fine by me but just to let u noe KOokyPluM is not that innocent... ;)

i may act silly and very kiddy like and cutesy pie but the things that goes on in my mind are not for those who are weak hearted.... ok time to go make some chocolate cake if u catch my drift..... hahaha... be back later....