Things i Would Do...

Or rather things i wanna do wen i come back from Taiwan...in one piece that is... Let me list the things... and yes i haven't been listing things for a long time.... so here goes....

• Practice my Sitar. Totally need to practice my sitar.
• Join The MaAd MArket. i dunno wat i'm gonna make but it will be frog inspired. maybe i'll sell my drawings?
• Get a part time job. Maybe at the florist or at the Doctors Clinic we'll see how.
• Get thinner. ya i just put it down coz its been bugging me.
• Get this black Deuter (did i spell it correctly) bag, i've been eyeing. i like black these days
• Get skinny jeans. even though i have a fat ass.
• Get my knitting done. i need a scarf!
• Get confirmation on my Uni application. i'll be flabbergasted if they don't accept me.
• gee... there are alot of "Get" words being used. get get get....

ok lah i guess enuff stuff to do... i just want to make it back home.... and ORD in peace... anyway i will not blog for a month... Bon Voyage.. to those souls that read this... be back in April.... in the spirit of travelling....

Leaving On A Jet Plane.....

KookyPlum's BootifulSoup On Temporary Hiatus

Till Mid April

Nawal Al Zoghbi - Aghla El Habayib

(English Translation)

You're still the closest to my heart

no matter how long or far you get from me

you're all my love

Who told you that I'd forget your love?

My love, I love you so much

And we should get back together...

My heart was never to anyone but you...

Believe me, I don't know why

You're my love, and I never blame you

When you get away, I stay...

When you come back, I love you...

We are one, and you can't forget this love...

I'll never love anyone after I loved you,

I won't hear no voice or echo...

I adore you with my heart and soul

Loving you is enchanting,

being far from you is so hard for me,

and I can't live without you...

Say something and charm me, lover of my soul

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane... To Freaking Taiwan!

I'll be leaving for Taiwan in 2 days time... i'm writing this early just in case i don't have time to write it tomolo or on Tues itself... i really don't feel good about going to Taiwan... its different from wen i was going to Brunei... life wasn't as confusing as it is now... simple back den... much simpler... now its very much a snowball effect... sigh....

actually it all started with Brunei...

Beggars Can't Be Choosers....

Dismiss my last post... but i don't like to remove wat i posted.. its a blog for gods sake.. its an online diary... its a reminder to myself of how i was at that particular moment, a journal of my life...

Beggars can't be choosers... i realised that.... thanks to Bestest Buddy for saying that i was shallow and only go for looks... ya la true... i have no right to shallow... To be superficial.. people like me only have to be looking on the inside for beauty coz thats the right thing to do isn't it? wat right do i have to judge people for their looks? coz i'm not tall or tanned or buffed or have clear skin? so that puts me at the bottom ranks? me a lowly being have no right to be looking at beautiful people... i can only go for those ppl who are on par with me rite? yes i know thats reality... life is so unfair...

let me tell you something, a long time ago people used to tell me that its wat on the inside that counts... you have to be nice and considerate, thoughtful and kind... people will like you for who u are... u are special blah blah blah... lemme tell you its all CRAP... REALITY CHECK... i'm tired of being nice, thoughful, kind and considerate... people don't care for that... they only care about if you have nice hair or have nice biceps or if you have a car or are rich.... thats wat get you noticed, not the fact that u gave up ur seat for an old lady or for the fact that you opened the door for a mother with a pram... nah... do for fuck? let face it (i've said this before) most people are nice people... so if everybody is already nice den wat criteria do you have to choose? looks! and well its also genetic lah.. we were programme to choose such and such traits to be desirable as mates and we were conditioned by our society and culture to see such and such qualities as beautiful...

nobody likes you for you in this game of so called "love"... i mean seriously, lemme ask you guys out there... how many times has ur GF or (for the sake of openess ) BF has asked you to try this something on just coz it "makes you look better" or asked you to change ur hair or change ur habits? if they seriously like you for who you are would they ask you to change? i mean seriously its all shit....

that said i think i'll never fall in love or have a relationship.. i've seen enuff relationships fail and for really stupid reasons... i think i'll never have a relationship coz i don't want to let myself go...

i'm just tired of it all.... nobosy wil like me for me.. i'm an individual and i have my own style... but who likes individuality? haiz only 21 and already jaded about love... so i'll just continue my life as sweet, cute and nice Kookyplum... Continue wearing my green striped socks wit slippers and cardigan tops... why bother to dress up if nobody wants you in the first place.. fuck the world....

Ok in the spirit of me dissing the current social views about beauty and attractiveness here's a song... i think this song is CRAP.. its a song about being ok about being "ugly" and different and yet the girls are in makeup and looking all pretty... utter crap....

Why?

Nancy Ajram-Enta Eih (Wit English Subtitles)

I know i may not be the shiniest apple on the tree. i know my strengths and weaknessness... or rather i know wat my weakness is, being in the army and all it screams at me every single day... Short, fat, soft, weak... blah blah the list goes on... sucks isn't it to be constantly reminded oh not so subtly about ur weaknessness... yeah i've on this earth long enuff to have developed a really thick skin... but sometimes it hurts...

been thinking and i realised i dunno wat my strengths are... do you? like wat would it be? i biggest guess is my mind... i take pride in my mind and my intellect... even if it isn't the sharpest one in the shed... i dunno i guess people will remember me as the nice one or the cute one... i don't paly music or at least i try to.. i can't sing for nuts.. i don't play sports or am atheletic... the only sports i do is walking along orchard road... terribly ugly i am... not very tall either... in between being terribly fat and fabulous thin... i have neither curly nor straight hair... in other words i am quite fucked up.. i have issues....

its not a good day....

Its Kinda Sweet

I didn't write this, god knows who did.... but just the most romantic thing isn't it?

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,

or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...

wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,

who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,

who holds your hand in front of his friends,

who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

nice dinner at home...

Snuggling up on the couch with rented movies and chips

the weather outside is all rainy and cold.

We end up in a food fight, oblivious to our surroundings

He picks me up after work and we go for dinner

We go to the supermarket and shop for the things that are finishing up at home.

He cleans up the house while i do the dishes.

Somehow its the simple things in life that really matter in a relationship - fancy dinners, holidays, flowers, rings are all secondary.

Of course some of that occasionally will never hurt... Heh.

But having the chemistry between both people, the romance and "spark"

thats what makes even a simple "i love you"

mean even more than anything else money can buy...

Used to think only communication, faith, trust honesty and love were important...

Now i realise that something else is even more important in even starting a relationship

that is, fate.

MaAd and Pool

The week passed by quite fast for me... i had 2 duties this week and the rest of the day were spent doing reverse throws and block punches... ah and not forgetting the fighting or rather lack of, more to like shouting really loudly and organised whacking... very very tired....

sat was kinda different....went out wit Mama Sali and her sister...

went to the MaAD market.... which stands for Market of Artist And Designers... had a wonderful time.... chatting with the Artist and Designers and bought a few stuff such a handmade journal and a felt tree badge..... the rest were mostly jewellry and girlie clothes... a few were some experimental artsy thing but overall a nice ambience and people... i feel inspired to create my own stuff and maybe one day after i ord i might just take a stall at mAaD... i'll be selling badges and magnets... and maybe a few pottery pieces my grandma makes out of old newspaper... how kool....

den after that went shop shop for awhile... den went to meet Silly Sleepy Ape Loving Man to Lepak with his fren... We couldn't decide wat to do so Silly Sleepy Ape Loving Man's fren whom i shall name (For the sake of giving them cute nick names ) Tall Nice Voice Man decided to go play pool... me not knowing how to play pool went along coz i need to try new things! and actually learnt how to paly pool... but they were really trying to let me win by purposely putting the white ball thing in strategic places and deliberately missing the shots... how sweet of them... they really didn't have to lower their standards for a novice like me... slaughter me! make me feel the pain of loss... but really they didn't have to.. had a great time though...

and now i'm home... and off to sleep....