The Fundamental Rule of Nature

the most fundamental rule of nature is:

CHANGE OR DIE

well that is to say that you have to change to adapt to your surroundings or well.. die. isn't it such a nice rule? i shall try to live by this rule. it applies very well to both jungles. the real jungle and the concrete one. you have to change or fail in your life.

Tired

do you know how tiring it is to do duties for 4 twelve hour duties? straight? it is very tiring especially when you don't have much rest in between and the sleeping quarter are dusty and not very well ventilated. thus i am very tired now but still went wif my fren to go walk walk right after i cam back from duty... isn't that silly? but i have accomplished two things.

first i went to eat at Carl Juniors ( or was it Carl's Junior? oh wateva) but anyways it was nice burgers but ok i don't get wat ppl say about the huge proportions coz to me it was just nice (thats coz i ate quite abit before that, if i didn't i would be just fine not too full and not hungry). its not that big of a burger. i was cheated. but nice burgers though.

Went to DAISO ( everthing there is $2!!!!!) at Plaza Singapura. even though it not as big as the one at IMM it is still bargain heaven. ok not really bargain heaven but wen everything irregardless wether its big or small, shiny or dull, spoon or tissue everything is $2!!! and most things are from Japan. TWO DOLLARS people!!!! TWO FREAKING DOLLARS!!!! needless to say i was a very happy man. oh i also found a pair of NINJA socks.. you know the one where it spilts into 2.. one for the big toe and the other for the rest of the toes. i've always wanted those. and also a black and green striped socks! so happy so happy. alsoa green mat and a small shovel ( i am a horticulturist..) 2 pars of green chopsticks and a green pouch!!!

but i was so tired i didn't even bathe wen i came back and crashed on the sofa... which den i proceed into my room, which by the way i do not remember doing and awoke today! still tired...

Assala & Baha - Ya Magnoon Live at Star Academy

ok i have to say the Assala lady has a power voice, she's the straight hair one... power sia...

DREAMY EYES by Christina Aguilera

I'm reaching out to touch you
In the middle of the night
And I don't know if I've been sleeping
But I hold my pillow tight

Are you real or are you my
Imagination playing games?
I can set you free, you'll always be
My one eternal flame

Your dreamy eyes,
They just won't say goodbye
Well, it must be my fate
'Cause I just can't escape
And the passion never dies...

Oh, dreamy eyes
o matter how I cry
I just can't reach you
Dreamy eyes

You're a vision of tomorrow
And a ghost from yesterday
And I've been trying not to let you
Take my breath away

You're a summer breeze that comes and goes
But somehow lingers on
Tell me how can I forget you
If you've never really gone?

Your dreamy eyes
They just won't say goodbye
Well, it must be my fate
'Cause I just can't escape
And the passion never dies...

Oh, dreamy eyes
No matter how I cry
I just can't reach you
Dreamy eyes

What do I have to do
To get that close to you and your...

Your dreamy eyes
They just won't say goodbye
Well, it must be my fate
'cause I just can't escape
And the passion never dies...

Oh, I tried so hard to release you
But no matter how I cry
I just keep seeing through
Dreamy eyes

This is so my theme song for this part of my life.... read into in all you want.... i'm not saying anything... scroll down for the song its a few post down...

Today

Today is an off day thats why i can sit here and type at a leisurely pleasure. i hope. but anyways was supposed to be on off tomolo also but it was utterly wasted. thus wat else is new (u guys know wat i mean).. anyways here i am typing listening to music. wasting my life away (that is also my frens is not new) sigh...

anyways, i found a magical word, this word will shut most people yakkking... the magic word is OKAY. really try it... if someone is talking incessantly about something taht you don't want to hear or ur just tired of listening to it. just say okay and nod ur head. usually they stop talking. give taht "yeah i agree with you face". works for me. thats said now people will thinki nvr listen to them wen i say okay. yes i do but i disagree with you or think wat ur saying is silly. but i don't want to get in a quarrel with so i say okay to shut u up. i sound so mean. but then i am a bitch. so there. haha. Magic Word :Okay or Ok whichever you prefer.

This magic word came about from the conclusions that People are selfish creatures and there is nobody to help you but urself. let me explain.

People are selfish creatures
tihs a general observation of the human population. but i think this is true of all of us. we have our agenda and things to do. its all about us. we work is for us to spend money on us. or if you spend money on ur gf/bf its is to get them to show you their affection. we have sex for our own pleasure, to release our own sexual needs. we eat so we can live. we do things for other so that they may one day return the favour to help us. we dress up to get a nice mate so taht we are happy. i can go on and on about this and also i maybe wrong about this too.. its a gray area. i know not all of you are this way and also not all of you want to admit it but hey think about it. its stangely true that most things we do in life are for our own selfish needs. or i might be talking crap.

No one to help you expect yourself
except maybe NAtasha Bedingfield. her songs move me. at least she's kind enuff to lend her songs. and christina. ppl find help in the weirdest places.

you know ppl go one with life pretending. life is all about pretending. we pretend to be happy. we pretend to like our work. we pretend to like ourselves. we pretend when we know we would be happier with other things. we pretend because the truth hurts alot and takes too much time to set right. thus we go one with our lives pretending taht everything is alright. pretend pretend pretend.

with taht in mind i shall go on with my life pretending is happie yappie. really its much better taht way. don't have to stres yourself about things just pretend that all will be well and have blind optimism.

it seems i have just related the Buddhist teaching to my life. of the ego, the I, and how it rules our life. where everything is I I I, me, me,me. how we do not live in the real world but the world of illusion, of Maya. sad really taht nobody sees the truth. coz we are all busy pretending.

People Who Should Be Shot

In my spirit my making list i have here a little list o f people who deserve to be shot. Not literally lah but it kinda irritates me.

• Couples who wear matching clothes. like please u like each other alot now but wait till you get married. den you see u wann wear matching t shirts or not. i'm just saying and also it looks weird lah.
• The person who said leggings were in. it looks weird and fugly especially those leggings with lace trims...
• The person started the trend of wearing jeans with dresses. if you didn't shave ur legs den just wear jeans not the damn dress. that trend should just stay in japan.
• People (okay laydees) who wear make up to chalet or bbq. why wear so much make up to a place where its gonna be hot and sweaty and hot and sweaty? it will just melt.

okay thats all.... that was wat peeved me the past 2 days. it amazing wat things irritate you wen you go out. that is to VIVO City!!!!!

which is soo overated ( see how i managed to jump from topic to topic with such ease.. haha).. ok back here back here... like yesterday went to Vivo city. there were a gadzillion ppl there! granted its a new mall and the biggest but i don't wat the hype is all about. its just big and confusing (due to the fact that there was alot off ppl and there weren't enuff sign which by the ways were a ll classified into wat type of things they were like shoes this way or books thataway.. silly really) anyways shopping or rather window shopping has given a list of things to buy (see how i love making lists?)

• cardigan: from topman. i just need one. but alas they don't really hav one in my size. which is by the is SMALL read that SMALL. fuck you u think i'm fat right? they ran out of small coz all the skinny chi guys bought it already (sorry i have issues not the chi part but the skinny part)
• this green (squeals!) long sleeve/sweater thing also frm top man. just coz it s green and long sleeve
• random polo Ts
• Shoes!
• Underwear
• A bag

Umm thats all i guess for now.. alot rite? crazy i'll so over spend... wait i take that back... i'll so not buy all those things.... ok tahts all darlings for this week toodles...

Christina Aguilera - Dreamy Eyes ( Nancy Ajram)

oh my god! i love this song... i so identify with song.. i love it.. did i say love this song.. so meaningful..

Random Thoughts

I was quite irritated by wat i watched the other day on MTV Pop10.. Apparently on it Tata Young was interviewed saying that her video Zoom was about how ppl see her as a sex kitten/symbol/bombshell (wateva) instead of a laydee with a mind. this is wat i have to say....

if you don't want ppl to see you as a sex symbol stop behaving in that way in your videos... like please, wearing lingerie and crawling around a hotel room is well pretty self explanatory isn't it? if you don't like it stop behaving that way... moving on...

Also being in relationship does equal being in love.. (ok here i go again.. but i can't help it)... so far i've never heard ppl say they are in love... instead they always say they're in a relationship or they're with someone... i've noticed something in the LRT the other day.. it was this young couple.. the girl was yakkin yakking constantly and the guy was just standing listening and looking soo bored... at the same time his hand in the girls bum. and the girls hands constantly wandering his shoulders and ass (ok i was bored okay? and the LRt was small place. i could help but notice) ok that lead me to conclude: first, girls just some one to take care of them and listen to them talk besides their own girlfrens. not that you gurls talk alot just that particular gurl was really talking alot. secondly, guys just want someone to take care of and well, maybe the possibility of sex or a make out session. face it guys sex is always on ur mind. ok i'm not trying to be sexist or anything just an observation and wat do i know about relationships eh? so you can just take wat i have written as crap. thank you very much.

ok sent my sitar for re stringing... yay! i'll get it back on monday... yay yay! i'm on off that day bloody hell if they call me back.... ppl ask me to restring it myself but i've always had this fear of the string snapping and cuttting me really badly.. haha.. which almost actually happened. which lead me to restring it in the first place...was happily strumming strumming and it just snapped... granted i have not changed the strings since i got her i was not suprised...

ok gotta go... maybe i'll blog tonight....

For A Short While

ok just here for a short while... i dunno why i'm even blogging.. i have nothing to blog... haha crazy...

Shahd - Oum kalthoum (1000 leila)

i love this version of the song. compare it to this by nancy ajram. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCoXIZB4JrM
i prefer this one

A Really Long Post.. i hope...

ok today i shall attempt to blog a really really long post.. for a few reasons.. first i have nothing to do.. second, i'll not be around for the next 2 weeks and also.. okay only 2 reason.... blah!

actually i wanted to talk of many things, of cabbages and kings but then i tot who would actually talk about cabbages and kings? really who would.... speaking of cabbages lets do a little ditty about comfort food (heh i know no relation watsoever to cabbages but hey...)

comfort food... ah yes... i love comfort food.. the food you eat to make you comfy and safe.. to give a sense of satisfaction and feel really guilty about it afterwards...everyone has their own fav food to eat wen htey are feeling abit down and about.. so heres my list of my fav comfort foods.. so that you can make them at home (there is a satisfaction that comes with making it yourself. i could be quoting Nigella there) and thank me for making you fat and ugly...

• Banana & Mayo: trsut me on this one. it may seem weird but the sourness of the mayo and the sweetness of the banana is well very nice in ur mouth (hmm... abit sexual dontcha think?)... also the textures aree divine... you could be real lazy and just dip the banana into the jar of mayo or you could, if your feelin all rah rah restaurant, slice the banana and scoop lil' blobs of mayo on them. but don't overdo the mayo.
• Banana Toast: take a slice of bread. smother a shit load of butter. put aside. take a banana and mash it up. add cinnamon sugar (can get at cold storage its very nice). spread ur mashed up banans on the bread. toast in a toaster oven. makes sure its a little bit burnt but not really burnt. get me? makes two.
• Tuna in OIL: i love this one.. just get tuna in oil and whack it on a slice of bread. the dripping oils is soo nice... it gets on ur finger and so you have to lick ur fingers.. mmm good... and tuna is good for you remember that. and remember get your tuna from a renewable source and is dolphin safe!
• Hot Chocolate: Explains itself doen't it? use milk for better results.
• ICe Cream: Agai nself explainatory but do psend money on quality ice cream. but too much money... it all becomes shit in the end...
• Mash: ok i do this every sunday monring if i have the time. get an egg boil it. get 2 sausages boil those too. get some fries, oven roast them. (yes yes i know it seems like a sad sttempt to make everything seem healthy, i could fry everything but then i hav a huge guilt trip.) okay to prepare mash the egg up in a bowl. slice the sausagse up into bits and add the fries(salted to taste of course). add a dollop of mayo and sage and lotsa pepper. also don't forget the ketchup. chilli don't do too well with this. mix em all together and you get the most satisfying mouthfuls of fatty potatoey goodness ever.

ahh makes me hungry. but i shall not.. thats all i have been doing lately, eating that is and also cooking to a certain extent. i don't go out anymore and i just practically stay at home. all day. sad really. the thing with me is, i know wat my problem and i know wat i need to do but i am powerless to do anything about it. i can't or would not. Cassandra syndrome. sad really. i didn't even wanna go out to Botainc G today for the plant sale. waste of my time compared to sitting here at home... wasting my time. urgh irony or maybe contradiction. i dunno.

ok so sitting athome here and looking thru frenster and all i find it amusing wen ppl put on their profiles that they hate hypocrites. funny really, if you really think about it all of us are hypocrites and the world ruled by hypocrisy. it would not rotate on its axis otherwise. Face the facts darling your a hypocrite and i'm one too. now lets all dance naked around the fire in the moonlight. woop pee doo bee doo!

Sigh. i'm feeling kind a blah. as usual. ok this time even more so. you know how termite eat at a piece of wood bit by bit until the wood rots and falls apart?i'm the wood and life is the bloody termites. it has not been kind. ok in terms of my personal (non existent social life).. like i've said before, i know wats wrong but i can't do anything about it or rather stubbornly won't. thats sucks. i would like to remain the same me thank you very much. i'll most probably end up like Ally Mcbeal just that i don't see dancing babies and i would be wearing rubber gardening boots instead of stilettos or like Miranda Priestly or Devil Wears Prada good at wat she does but has no human relationship.

ok fine. we humans are very much visual ppl, i'm the same but i have a rather interesting observation to add. so you like this gurl, she is all ur LOOKING for. so you talk to her and clearly your smitten by her. you like wat she likes. ok here's wat i'm getting at. everybody is a nice person really everyone is. have you met a really rotten person? maybe he or she is rotten to you but to other ppl they might be wuite endearing. so the only reason why you like someone is because you are attacted to them? am i right? so looks is everything right? i sound so anti love right now.. silly.... actually i dunno wat i'm writing, i need to think about it more before i publish my theory. and to answer the question of why i will never ever fall in love. no really but i think i would never never fall in love. i'll buy you an ice cream if i do. ( no promises hahaha)

ok all off to join a convent or a monastery... be back in 2 weeks time hopefully haha.. if i don't die in the jungle....

I realised Something...

that i have been blogging for 3 freaking years already... gosh... amazing isn't it? maybe i can continue for another 3 years? i should be nominated for some oldest blog award or something... wat a bitch isn't to be blogging for 3 years... hahaha...

and wen you read back on wat you have w ritten for the past 3 years you realised how little things in my life has changed... bitches.. haiz.. thats life i guess...

I feel so alone...

How would you feel if you got home and ppl said that they forgot that you were soming home today and didn't get for you any dinner? forgot that you were coming home... forgot...

How would you feel, if you ppl didn't tell you your own grand aunt landed in hospital..?

well thats that wat happened wen i got home... and yeah and someone installed this new internet explorer 7 which is supposed to make surf the net more fun and secure but its making mine a pain in the ass... bitch...

sometiems i feel i'm becoming invisible.. cliche i know but that how i feel sometimes.. only seen wen needed... speak wen spoken to...

i just feel really down now... hopefully i'll be better tomolo.. but who the heck care right?

sometimes i wonder why i evne bother to blog.. it seem ridiculous doesn't it? to blog about how you feel and wat you did wen nobody realy gives a fuck? ok before i get myself into abit of trouble i better stop right here and not let my emotions get the better of me....