I'm BAck ( iF Anybody CAres) frm the lAnd of GIant Bugs

so i've been back for awhile now... since monday but who cares right... it has been a very busy week, the reason which i cannot disclose due to its sensitive nature (what in the army isn't)..... and i have been shopping like mad for reason being i just need to spend and eating much for the reason of me being deprived of good food... although i still miss the soup.... ah the soup, nice and peppery....

being in the brunei jungle for a good part of two weeks away from family and frens, really gets your mind thiking about your own life... thinking about your own happiness and the pursuit of it.... thinking about your relationships with the people around you and who they really are.... like the realisation that in life one can never be truly happy and you have to make do with wat you have....

Going to Brunei and coming really makes you a different person.... you change....

Bon Voyage Mon Amies!

oh dear the time has come for me to be off.. to brunei that is to go and "train" in the jungle... the day is finally here!!! goodness.. i hope time flies past v fast and nothing will happen....

i have packed my bag it seems as though my bag is gigantic.. i've was never any good at packing... i dunno i think i may be bringing abit too much... hee hee.....

anyways, wish me luck and see ya'll again on the 8th of may.. i should be back by then.. i hope...... hee hee.... ah yi or whoever..... remember our vesak day gathering!

I'm Insane...

ok i really thought i poisoned my company the other day when i issued them their antibiotic pills and most of them if not all of them vomited... ok fine.. i was only given the instrcution for them to take 2 of the damned pills... i didn't noe it would actually make them puke... actually it would make them feel nauseous at most it would make one or 2 of them puke but excuse me??? alot of them vomit ok... me thinks its sorta a paranoia effect kinda thing, where they see one guy vomit them they also vomit.. kinda weird isn't it... wasn't really worried bout all the puking (people aren't that easy to kill, which is an inteeresting point in itself)... i still do care ok... its just puking for gods sake.... i'm being such a bitch.. i'm sorry my hearts being hardened sumwat..

Teyata....

It is like this this.....

i HAVE A FREEAKING HANDPHONE.... it not like ppl don't know my number... all they could do is call... i hate it wen there is a meeting or briefing that i have to attend but then they do not call me..! and wen i come back they ask me why i nvr attend the meeting or why am i late for this and that.. i have a freeaking phone for goodness sake.. u could at least call... if you can't get me, you know where i would be...there is only 2 place i could be at.... sheesh... i was very pissed....
juz to get it off my chest....

i suffer in silence... the thing i have to do.. i'm hanging on the hope that somehow things will be less shitty and stressful.. one day i hope.. i really do.... *sigh*

How Stupid Of Me....

how stupid and naive can i be to think that everything has turned out for the better... i am an idiot... i shouldn't have said anything at all... i should have just keep my trap shut.. thats how the universe works u see.. once u say something the opposite will happen.. especially to bad/unlucky things... stupid stupid.... i need guidance...

the person i need is Nanny McPhee.... no seriously.. i need such a person... i am actually kinda lost right now... i dunno wat to do... and i dunno who to turn to.... sadz... nothing too serious i'm not suicidal or anyything... i'm just lost...

PS: i've removed the tagboard coz its of no use... lets face the facts, no one ever uses it... most of the time its me thats using the tagboard how silly is that..? thats just goes to show how much of a sociopath/loner i am..... u can keep ur comments to urself...

I Can't Live... Living Is Without You...!!!!!!

no i'm not going thru a break up silly...its just that i'm listening to that song right now... hahaha...

glad to say that things are getting better... the new guys are taking some of the workload and lotsa shit has been cleared.. so abit less stressed.... but i still need to have a moral boosting talk with them.. they are/seem quite stressed themselves (i guess they hav not snapped back to reality, trust me it takes a few months)... . that is once i get them all in one place... how hard is it to get 3 people together in one place at one time.... quite hard i must say, seeing that they keep going for off.... but hey they deserve the off..... noq i need to get mine.. speaking of that if ur wondering why i am here typing this on a thurs afternoon... well i myself is on off... wahahaha...


k k gotta go and watch as much tv as i can....

Oh How life iS....

Sometimes i think that life is sorta unfair to me.. ok more like really unfair.. for example ATP range and duties... and all the arrows... i've been tired lately... yes i noe i have been complaining of myself being tired alot lately but really i am... i have not have proper rest for the past 3 week or so... i need to sleep till 10 at least... goodness.. i need to shut up.. and sleep.. but people would not let me sleep! arrgghh!!!!!! and pls stop asking me if i am in charge of the new medics.. i am just looking out for them since i see nobody giving them much thought... am i being too nice? really am i? is it wrong to show them around make them feel accepted? i feel out of place... now i'm bring alienated... so sue me for being concerned and worried.. i am the type who would worry alot but then again also the type that believes in fairies and unicorns and ultimately everything will turn out fine.... i am such a big freaking contradiction... so i can safely declare myself to be suffering frm a Quarter Life Crisis.. i have not seen most of my frens in over a month especially my best fren whom i have not contacted for all this while.. i think she moved on... i have not gone out jalan jalan for over 3 weeks... and even if i do i would most probably go alone.. i am turning out to be such a loner.... an anti social freak... cannot lah... i wear a porcelain mask with a permanent smile painted on.. it could crack and then people would see how ugly i can be.... my right hand hurts frm doing gardening, which i have been neglecting for the few weeks... all my plants are in such bad shape.... i have been neglecting them as i have been neglecting my frens... i just have not much time... no time to practice sitar... how can u be good at music if u don't practice? life in general is fucked up... i used to get angry but now its sort of a gradual acceptance of how fucked up my life is... they say army either makes u or breaks u... i guess its breaking me slowly...............

Oh For Goodness Sake...

Oh For Goodness Sake (twice for the effect).... i saw a chinese lady wit hairy legs and she was wearing a mini skirt... oh most probably she didn't have any pants to wear or ran out of Veet or sumthing....

in other news...

shit has been happeneing and its a continuing process... much like diahorrea... continous shit... it has erupted.. ppl have started noticing that i'm not my usual perky self.. well folks that true... shit happens....

but lets be optimistic for once.... let see it this way..

Baya Don't Worry.

In Life, People Learn New Things Everyday

as told by a indian salesperson at mustafa (words of wisdom i must say)

also:

We Learn From Our Mistakes

lets hope for the best......

hi there... life is mundane and boring wif nothing to look forward to.. thus there is nothing to blog about.. so whoever who happens to stumble on this blog, sorry there is nothing to read but do feel free to read about the fun and quirky person that i used to be...