Oh How life iS....

Sometimes i think that life is sorta unfair to me.. ok more like really unfair.. for example ATP range and duties... and all the arrows... i've been tired lately... yes i noe i have been complaining of myself being tired alot lately but really i am... i have not have proper rest for the past 3 week or so... i need to sleep till 10 at least... goodness.. i need to shut up.. and sleep.. but people would not let me sleep! arrgghh!!!!!! and pls stop asking me if i am in charge of the new medics.. i am just looking out for them since i see nobody giving them much thought... am i being too nice? really am i? is it wrong to show them around make them feel accepted? i feel out of place... now i'm bring alienated... so sue me for being concerned and worried.. i am the type who would worry alot but then again also the type that believes in fairies and unicorns and ultimately everything will turn out fine.... i am such a big freaking contradiction... so i can safely declare myself to be suffering frm a Quarter Life Crisis.. i have not seen most of my frens in over a month especially my best fren whom i have not contacted for all this while.. i think she moved on... i have not gone out jalan jalan for over 3 weeks... and even if i do i would most probably go alone.. i am turning out to be such a loner.... an anti social freak... cannot lah... i wear a porcelain mask with a permanent smile painted on.. it could crack and then people would see how ugly i can be.... my right hand hurts frm doing gardening, which i have been neglecting for the few weeks... all my plants are in such bad shape.... i have been neglecting them as i have been neglecting my frens... i just have not much time... no time to practice sitar... how can u be good at music if u don't practice? life in general is fucked up... i used to get angry but now its sort of a gradual acceptance of how fucked up my life is... they say army either makes u or breaks u... i guess its breaking me slowly...............