Thoughts at 3am

• Homo sapiens are a social species. indeed we are. we need ppl around us. to interact and to live our daily lives. those individuals that can live without the human interactions that the rest of the species so deep craves are truly commendable. namely the monks, nuns and hermit that shun human interactions to pursue their spiritual peace. one wonders how they do it.
• we need to be in a pack. like wolves. to be different or to be an individual would be social suicide. we all want to be the same. we feel safety in numbers of like minded ppl.
• Are you allowing ur self to be ostracized by putting ur foot down or believing in ur own beliefs or having an opinion? sure feels that way.
• life's not fair i get it.
  
• just coz i understand it does mean i can feel the way i feel.
• am i pushing ppl away?
• must i always have a smile all the time? do i need to be funny all the time?
• its nvr about me. its always about someone else. and when it is about me. nobody gives a shit. why can't i be selfish?
  
• ppl sometimes avoid me like the plague when i'm feeling all emo. and the ppl i expect to give a shit... well they dun. refer to point above.
  
• yeah this is my selfish moment. yes it is. although some ppl would think that i jsut want some attention. most probably i do. but i need a place to vent. an outlet if u please.
  
• i need to stop having conversations with myself. but hey i only have myself.
• although it does work out some of my anxieties and worries by having a conversation with myself. bizzare.
• my neck hurts.
• feeling peckish.
  
• this is so frustrating
• is such a thing as caring too much? i dun think so.
  
• someone told me to think about myself more. well if i did that. i won't have anymore frens.
• its all a delicate balance i guess. of being selfish and selfless.
  
• people are capable of great compassion and also great atrocities.
  
• people are also capable of alot of things? should i live in fear?
  
• i guess the only time ppl will appreciate me is when i'm gone.
  
• i can't please everybody.
• this feels like 2007
• ur thinking i'm crazy and depressive and have some issues.
• guess what. everyone has issues. but nobody listens.
• i need a hug. i really do :(