Why?

Nancy Ajram-Enta Eih (Wit English Subtitles)

I know i may not be the shiniest apple on the tree. i know my strengths and weaknessness... or rather i know wat my weakness is, being in the army and all it screams at me every single day... Short, fat, soft, weak... blah blah the list goes on... sucks isn't it to be constantly reminded oh not so subtly about ur weaknessness... yeah i've on this earth long enuff to have developed a really thick skin... but sometimes it hurts...

been thinking and i realised i dunno wat my strengths are... do you? like wat would it be? i biggest guess is my mind... i take pride in my mind and my intellect... even if it isn't the sharpest one in the shed... i dunno i guess people will remember me as the nice one or the cute one... i don't paly music or at least i try to.. i can't sing for nuts.. i don't play sports or am atheletic... the only sports i do is walking along orchard road... terribly ugly i am... not very tall either... in between being terribly fat and fabulous thin... i have neither curly nor straight hair... in other words i am quite fucked up.. i have issues....

its not a good day....

Its Kinda Sweet

I didn't write this, god knows who did.... but just the most romantic thing isn't it?

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,

or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...

wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,

who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,

who holds your hand in front of his friends,

who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

nice dinner at home...

Snuggling up on the couch with rented movies and chips

the weather outside is all rainy and cold.

We end up in a food fight, oblivious to our surroundings

He picks me up after work and we go for dinner

We go to the supermarket and shop for the things that are finishing up at home.

He cleans up the house while i do the dishes.

Somehow its the simple things in life that really matter in a relationship - fancy dinners, holidays, flowers, rings are all secondary.

Of course some of that occasionally will never hurt... Heh.

But having the chemistry between both people, the romance and "spark"

thats what makes even a simple "i love you"

mean even more than anything else money can buy...

Used to think only communication, faith, trust honesty and love were important...

Now i realise that something else is even more important in even starting a relationship

that is, fate.

MaAd and Pool

The week passed by quite fast for me... i had 2 duties this week and the rest of the day were spent doing reverse throws and block punches... ah and not forgetting the fighting or rather lack of, more to like shouting really loudly and organised whacking... very very tired....

sat was kinda different....went out wit Mama Sali and her sister...

went to the MaAD market.... which stands for Market of Artist And Designers... had a wonderful time.... chatting with the Artist and Designers and bought a few stuff such a handmade journal and a felt tree badge..... the rest were mostly jewellry and girlie clothes... a few were some experimental artsy thing but overall a nice ambience and people... i feel inspired to create my own stuff and maybe one day after i ord i might just take a stall at mAaD... i'll be selling badges and magnets... and maybe a few pottery pieces my grandma makes out of old newspaper... how kool....

den after that went shop shop for awhile... den went to meet Silly Sleepy Ape Loving Man to Lepak with his fren... We couldn't decide wat to do so Silly Sleepy Ape Loving Man's fren whom i shall name (For the sake of giving them cute nick names ) Tall Nice Voice Man decided to go play pool... me not knowing how to play pool went along coz i need to try new things! and actually learnt how to paly pool... but they were really trying to let me win by purposely putting the white ball thing in strategic places and deliberately missing the shots... how sweet of them... they really didn't have to lower their standards for a novice like me... slaughter me! make me feel the pain of loss... but really they didn't have to.. had a great time though...

and now i'm home... and off to sleep....

Its a Lum Dee Dum Day

Its a Lum Dee Dum Day.... why? coz its all you do today... u sit around at home and go LumDeeDum... Hoo Hoo...

So nothing much happened this week... just went out to shop with Silly Sleepy Ape Loving Man.... at Daiso of all places.... den went o Daiso to drink some Choc Frap.... and Subsequently got drunk.. on chocolate lah... please... Did you know chocolate makes you happy? ya so i was drunk on chocolate....

haiz... boring sia....

Next week... alot of ippt and soc... whooo!!!!

A State of Limbo

she's gone... its werid.. i'm in a state of limbo... now i have no life all of a sudden... who will go out with me? and shop and people watch? who will i bitch too? just now i really wanted to msg her but then i realised she's in australia... its weird and kinda sad... i miss her already...

bestest fren u are miles away....

Nawal Al Zoghbi

Nawal... Great Singer... Once again i dunno wat the freak this song is about but i like it! blog later....

A Little About Me....

First of all Happie Neu Year of the Oinky Oink...

i watched Grey's Anatomy today i was quite struck by wat this old lady said on the show... i tend to pick up alot about life from tv, i watch too much anyways... but the thing she said was "Life's too Short.. You have to fight for wat urs" but the first part made me think... with all the things i've been doing and stuff that been happening to me and the people i've met and gotten to know, it seem that life is indeed too short and i have soo amny things to do and so many things to say to people that are meant to said.. haiz.. but can't say it all at once can i?

but let me say this... it seem that people cannot figure who or what i am... like they think i'm such a mystery and that i am... i like to keep it that way... but i'll share a little bit of my personality with all of you (or at least those who bother to read this humble blog of mine)...

people always tend to say i'm stuck up and proud wen they first meet me.. i get that all the time... they don't know wat they're missing... wen i first meet you i don't really make the first move. i tend to let you decide if you wanna get to know me... i have this thing about people, my history and my past experience has shown me that people can be nasty towards me.. or rather towards people of my nature and position... so that s why i tend to ignore the newcomers or tend to be very loud and silly thats coz i tend to be very silly wen i first meet people... i'm shy lah... o say hi to me i'm a really nice person and i don't bite... much anyways....

and people always think i'm such a fey fairy wen they first meet me.. umm ... ok thats kinda true... lets leave it as that okay....

i guess my biggest flaw would be that i would numb myself from things that aree happening around me.. i build walls and shield myself from alot of things.. and i don't get involved with people or things for fear that it would hurt me in one way or another... i made that mistake many a times and i've regretted it (there is one very big regret.. sigh...) i dunno once again how you experience life in the past will shape the way you behave in the future.. well that was the psat and the nasty things said and done were well in the past... and i look better than them anytime now anyways.. bitches... anyways sorry, off track there abit... but ya i'm working on it.. i try to get to know more people and do more things (thus the last few posts down) ... trying to be more open you could say...

in the spirit of being open (well darlings not that open.. sheesh..) there are 2 people i really care about in my life.. besides my family... family is/are people you care about no matter wat... i mean people outside my family... the first person is my bestest fren... i care about her.. ya i know i'm bring all mushy but u know this is wat i feel... i so so so so miss her wen she goes to Aust for a year and not coming back! ok only at the end of the year... i'll be so sad...

the other person i really care about is well... can't really say... its been a confusing road for me about this person... and i guess its better not to disclose the identity of thus said person... i care about you but i can't show you that i do.. weird rite? always i feel u want to tell me something but ur just holding urself back.. maybe its just me... was i too harsh? am i too bitchy? or ur just tired of me... i don't want to feel the way i feel but den again who can? i can't say i love you coz wat do i know about love... its like having a worm in ur heart, slowly eating it day by day... i'm very confused about wat to do and yet i know wat i must do... sigh....

sad lah my life eh? that me being open... and if you happen to read this then its a very fucked up way of you to find out about it... but then again i'm shy...

haiz blogging this has made me depressed.... and i have to go eat... hungry leh...

Butterscotch & Sprite

There is so much i wanna type but i feel freaking tired. Okay let me relate to you wat happened this week. i tend to do these weekly update coz well.... i'm not there for most of the week so i have to blog during the weekends so ya. you get wat i mean.

finally the last outfield exercise is over... at least for Singapore that is... i have 2 more in Taiwan... blargh! but its okay after the Taiwan ones i'll be on my way to be civillian. Whoopee Doo... If that wasn't enuff right after the outfield thing i went clubbing! For the first time...

Oh my god! me go clubbing? unglamourous me... ok lah it was Samantha's farewell thing coz she was going away to study. so i went to her house to have a farewell dinner. after that we went to St James. ok it was my first time and it was kinda weird having to dance on the dancefloor. but if i were doing it alone it would be stupid but there were at least 100++ ppl doing the same. so it didn't feel so stupid. but i really feel u need to get drunk to go clubbing. to really let urself go and hang loose. that said i like Butterscotch&Sprite. go order it. its nice. and no i didn't get drunk yesterday. was dancing and dancing till 4 am. tiring you know. its not my thing though. but i don't mind if the company is good.

anyways got home at 5 and slept till 12 or 1 in the afternoon. i think. anyways ppl ask me out again today! to go to MoMo... am i that happening? nope i don't think so..... i'm just popular by proxy... its sad but true...

but i like Butterscotch&Sprite....Thanks to Melissa...

Time to Move on....

Haifa Wehbe

I like Haifa she's so pretty.... i changed my format coz i usually give you a vid after my rants but i feel its time fora change. thus i shall post a vid first. and besides i like Haifa and not forgetting Sabah but i posted her last week. so anyways time to blog proper.

i feel its time for a change. i know i said it would be my new years resolutions. but now i feel it is really changing. the people around and the things i do. its changing. i feel it in the wind and in the ground. Something happened last night that made me realise that i have to move on and dwell on the past. ok last night i went to watch movie with Sumo and my army collegues/frenz. but thats not it. something else happened, i shall not elaborate but i felt quite hurt by it.

anyway change change change is good right?

Like a Virgin, Drunk For The Very First Time

My oh my, wat a most eventful week i had. well you know me. i like to list things down. here wat i did for the week.

Monday: Had run. and went to get ATEC results. which was good. Redcon 1! yay! nothing much on monday except Encik ask me to run with him Every freaking day!

Tuesday: Didn't run coz most of my medic were on MC or duties. so i had to cover them or rather do covers for them. Good to coz i needed the break. Also kena 3 extra.

Wednesday: I can't remember much of Wednesday except i was thrown alot and ran. oh and there was a route march! at night! hah!

Thursday: Went for a run to the Zoo with encik. then had a cohesion wit the Coy Commanders cohesion. ate alot and played abit of Jenga. and sat along time on the stairs listening to ppl talk about other ppl. as usual got nothing to do with me much. but hey commander wat.

Friday: well this is wehre the fun begins. met Samantha to go the medics cohesion at East Coast Park. all was well and i had a great time. well thats wen the alchohol started to come. at first i didn't want to drink but wat the hey. so for my first time drinking i had maybe 5-6 shots of Martell, Red wine, Chivas and beer. all mixed in different amounts with some random drinks. also 1 or 2 cans of beer unmixed. okay got drunk. weird feeling to be drunk. and don't you think i drunk i can't remember anything. there were some actions that weren't supposed to be done but did. umm okay i know but no. talked alot of rubbish to my Dr and peed alot. i didn't puke though. and didn't wake up wit a hangover. hah! not bad for a first time eh?

Saturday: crashed at Samantha's house. before you get any thoughts. i crashed at her house coz we had a Bake-a-thon on sat! but i woke up at 12 but we still managed to make choco mousse, choco cloud cake, peanut butter cookies and orange and almond cake! not bad ah. i like spending time with my best fren. too bad she's going away soon. sadness. anyways my close fren in secondary skool got married on Sat night. well wish her all the best with her husband! makes me wanna get married, but i won't at least not for a very long time. fyi: if ur reading this Xlippy ur fren is getting married to my fren. haha.

Sunday: woke up really late. went online. rotted for few hours and went to cut my hair. and here we are. booking in soon. sianz.

anyways retrospect for the week was, i didn't expect to do so many things that i never done before. namely, letting myself loose and getting drunk and sleeping over at Samanthas house. also i ran quite alot for the past week. i guess i'm beginning to fulfill my new yeasr resolution quite fast eh?

i'll leave you this week with my all time favourite Lebanese singer Sabah. this video was taken in 2004 which makes her around 88? she a diva and so freaking kool. so old still performing. god bless her!